Abim

I arrived back from Abim yesterday. Also went up to Moroto for a night. Abim was beautiful. The people were welcoming. I basically hung out with about 15 girls for the week. All of them have some how been affected by karamojong warriers (which are the cattle raiders who have wreaked havoc in those parts for several, several years, or they were affected by the LRA which was in that area briefly. There was much pain in many of their stories. So many who didn't have any parents still living. They are in situations I can't even imagine. One girl was living with a guardian who said that she had to marry her son or else move out, when she went to stay with an aunt, the aunts husband said she could only stay if she would become his second wife. I just can't imagine. and she's probably like 15 yrs old or so. Another girl was being pursued by her primary school teacher to have sex with him, and yet she was able to stand firm and not give in to him despite his efforts to effect her school performance if she refused him. She's a full orphan meaning no parents, since she was born. She was shot by the LRA in her knee. She was raised by a guardian who loves Jesus. She knows that she has a purpose, she cries out to God when she has a need and knows that she would not be alive today if she did not have faith in God. She's seen His hand too much in her life not to believe. It was encouraging to speak with her. Though there are many problems in her life Jesus has given her hope. There's hope for the others as well. Though many have left them throughout their life, they have One who will never leave them nor forsake sake them, who hears their cry and saves them. My prayer is that their eyes would be open to how He loves them and is with them and that they see their God given purpose in this life.

ah-ha

Just had an ah-ha moment i thought i would share. So I was thinking about how i get frustrated with people when they don't trust my intentions for them. I want them to see my heart and how it loves them. and it hurts me when they doubt that. so all the sudden, i realized how I affect the heart of God in such a way. He shows me over and over again His heart of love and compassion and how His intentions are for my good and not to harm me. Then something hard comes along and I want to blame Him, and doubt Him. And He must say oh beloved...don't you see my heart for you, look at all the ways I've tried to reveal myself to you and shown you my love and you're still questioning me and doubting me and my intentions for you, don't you see I gave my life for you. TRUST ME! Trust my heart for you. Thank you Jesus for your patient persistant pursual of your people.

goat distribution

So I was supposed to leave this morning around 8am to go oversee the distribution of goats that International Teams had donated money to buy for former child soldiers and their families. Mode of transportation is a dirt bike. Lawrence (with an organization called Fida) and I on the dirt bike. We are supposed to go to three different sub-counties, it makes for a long day of travel. Especially when the road has been washed out and we have to go around.

but i'm getting ahead of myself here. we were supposed to leave at 8am, but someone else had used the bike and was stuck out of town because the rain and the bike was malfunctioning. so we didn't end up leaving until after 1pm. (hoping the bike was fixed well enough...) And so we are just flying down the road, even up to over 100km/hr on these torn up clay roads. Lawrence already drives fast, and now we're in a hurry...when we finally get to the first place they complain about having been there since early in the morning, but we move on and get the goats distributed.

we head to the next place, but run into the washed out road, and when we finally find our way there, no one is around. so apparently they are still out buying the goats...then we leave and go to the last place, this time the road was washed out but passable... by the time we get there it is getting late, maybe around 5pm and we've missed the goat distribution, they got tired of waiting and just distributed without us there. At least we were 1 for 3. oh and one more picture for good measure, we needed some fuel so we stopped in this one village and they filled us up with fuel from a coke bottle...

a village burial

so today i went to a burial. it's so hard to put everything in words, i will try since i didn't feel right taking pictures there. So I have a friend here called Bena, she's married, one baby, and she's 29yrs. She loves Jesus and wants to help the girls from her home village know how God sees them and show them that God does have a purpose for their lives, she's started an organization called Alive With Purpose. I have really enjoyed getting to know her and hear her heart for the people here. Anyway, so I was helping her in her office type up the constitution for renewing her community based organization certificate. I asked if she wanted to come home for lunch and she said she could not because she had to go to a burial. her great-grandma had passed and was being buried out in the village in the afternoon. So...then she asked if i wanted to come with her. which i did. I am trying to take every opportunity to learn more about the culture, plus I wanted to be there with my new friend, to support her. The youth pastor from her church stops by the office at 11:30am, he was supposed to arrive at 9am to go over something with her, but apparently he was delayed...Bena says, african time, i just smile. she tells him she no longer has time to go over whatever they were going to go over because she has to leave for a burial. then enters the associate pastor from her church, charles, he works for an organization called Light, he has a vehicle. when he hears about the funeral he offers to drive us, along with simon (the youth pastor), Bena says they will come and now simon has begun calling others to come too, Bena says that it is good for others to go and stand with the person who has lost someone. we stop by my house on the way out and pick up jennifer, then we swing by somewhere else and pick up another lady, dina. we are now, the 6 of us in the truck cab, and we head out. the village is near so it only takes maybe twenty minutes. the road is bumpy but the four of us across the back are pretty tightly packed we don't move too much...we turn off the "main" road to the village and start driving on a walking path for a short while and then we park outside a cement house that Bena says is her family's. Now we proceed to walk further along the path which opens up to a compound with maybe 4 or so huts on it. the introductions have already started, and the temporary shelter that has been constructed the previous day is now packed with women on the floor and men on the benches, the shelter is big sticks standing up right with branches over top. the people have actually over flowed from the shelter and there are people under every edge around each hut, and under a tree. there were over 300 people...not going to lie, felt a little out of place walking into this scene. i spot the coffin amidst the people, Bena heads toward it, jennifer and I and the pastors follow shortly behind. she kneels by the coffin briefly we just stand, then she introduces her self and her friends (that's us). we say our names, they clap and then some men clear off a bench for us to sit on in the front row of benches. there were a few more introductions after we sat, but they cut the rest off because they could tell rain was approaching. the grandmother was catholic. while one man is praying for her, another is standing up saying that that's not necessary because it's not helpful once she is dead. then the pastors we came with preached the word of God, a few people raised their hands to accept Christ. then we did some sitting, some standing as we went through what i think was some part of a catholic service, then another pastor shared the gospel as well, for a long time, many fell asleep, and all in a language that i did not understand. then he went over to the other people sitting around the huts and started summarizing what he had been teaching under the shelter but people began telling him that the rain was coming we had to hurry up. so we got on with the rest of the service. but at anytime while someone was talking a lady may enter into the shelter crying a loud for this dead grandmother, someone would try to console and the person speaking wouldn't even skip a beat, everyone's attention would just be diverted for a brief time. ok, i better move this story along. so they eventually put the white sheets over the body and put the lid on it, carried out from under the shelter and lowered it with ropes to it's final resting place. the service continued. someone got down on top of the coffin and put sticks across the top of it, i think maybe to keep it from floating up if it was heavy rain or something, they were also mixing cement on the side of the grave, but the rains came heavy and we ran back to the house before we got to the rest of the covering of the grave. and it ended just like that. everyone else was just beginning to eat. we met Bena's father (who teaches at Gulu University) and then we prayed together and left. ok, so that's enough for now i think. all in a day.

where to begin...

I'm thinking how do i write..., i want to share, but i don't quite know how...so almost a month has passed. maybe i'll just start from where i am. if you read this maybe you could just ask specific questions in the comment section that i could answer.

cars & kids

Got a car today. see jennifer's blog for pictures, www.atimeasthis.blogspot.com it's quite amazing really. When people asked me before I left what was I most afraid of, one of the things I almost always said first was driving. and today I drove. and no I didn't start out driving in Soroti where there are very few cars, but in over-crowded Kamapla. who has like one working traffic light. I thought I would be so much more nervous, but found myself continually agreeing to drive through Kampala even when I've had no experience driving from the left side of the car on the left side of the street. I'm sure there will come some more nerve wrecking times while driving and i ask for your continual prayers for this, especially supernatural awareness of potential dangers, like kids running in the street and reckless taxi drivers. God definitly granted me peace as I got behind the wheel, so thank you to all who have been praying for this for me. Also today while driving, and waiting at the one traffic light (for three rotations of the light at least) I was reminded of the extreme poverty and desperateness that we find ourselves in. So many kids came up to our windows while sitting so long at this light. Each with sad eyes and hungry tummies, and we don't want to give money for multiple reasons (often they are pretty much enslaved to an adult who takes the majority of it, or they buy things to get high with) and I didn't have any food with me, and it's just hard to ignore them, and even harder to look into their eyes. I found myself hoping that the traffic light would change quickly so I wouldn't have to look at them any more and feel so helpless, but really, when the light changed and I moved on, those kids were still there, they could still be there now, several hours later, and I wonder where they will sleep tonight. Its amazing how quickly we forget the need around us when it's not right in our face. that's why it's so easy for the rich church in america to become so complacent and selfish. it's not in our face in america everyday like it is here. We can turn off our tv's or close our books and forget about all the stuff going on around the world that we need to be pleading to our Father about. here it will be in our face everyday. and part of me is thankful for that, as much as it breaks my heart. I can experience a little more of our Fathers heart as it breaks for His sweet and precious children that suffer so. I was going to be done, but also must add this. Our Father's heart must also break for the children in the American church as well, as they get whatever they want, when they want most of the time and are filled with so much of this world that they have little appetite left for Him...ok. must go. think about it. pray about it...live it out...

desert places

I was reading a book last night, Drawing Near by John Bevere and he was talking about the difference between Moses and the Isrealites. The Isrealites wanted whatever they could get from God, but when things were rough they'd just soon go the other way, even if that meant away from God and back into slavery. Moses on the other hand desired the presence of God, even if that meant months and years in the desert place. When God suggests that His people could continue on to the promised land and settle there, but He could not go with them for fear He might wipe them out, Moses stands in the gap. Instead of giving in to the temptation of the promised land without God, Moses shows His desire for the presence of God above all else. He says to the Lord, "If your presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here" (ex 33:15). "He desired the Lord Himself more than His promised blessings. He prized initmacy with God above any treasures God could provide"(p43 Bevere). Am I willing to say this with Moses? Am I willing to say I will not go without you Lord, even if the way looks oh so inviting, even if it means waiting months or years in the desert place. For I desire you far above all else.