Sunday, April 3, 2011
As I sit in the airport awaiting departure...wow...a lot has happened in the last year. Will I be able to accurately articulate every detail, each story? No. Am I the same as when I left america some 361 days ago? no. i cannot be. can i describe the transformation that has occurred in my heart and in my mind? no. will people at home understand completely? no. how could they when i can't even understand for myself? Will i miss white ant paste? no. will i miss eating bush rat? no. will i survive in the fast lane, that is america? no.ok. yes, but it will be challenging. Will i get frustrated with my inability to express things and others inability to understand? yes. will i enjoy cheese again? yes. will i be able to safely drive a vehicle following all traffic laws in the US? no. do i feel i have done enough here? no. will it ever be enough? no. do I trust Jesus with the rest? yes. will i miss bible studies in kamuda on saturdays? yes. will i miss father heart weekends with former child soldiers? yes. will i long for the quiet and peacefulness of the village? yes. will i miss primary school pit latrines? no. will i miss visiting nuru in the market? yes. will i miss carrying nathan on my back as hellen and i ride our bikes from her home to mine? yes. will i miss teaching lydia? yes. ok, i think you get the picture. i will miss many things. however i'm only gone for 6 weeks. i'm more concerned with my time in the states. will i freeze up when i walk into the cereal aisle and find cereal as far as i can see in both directions? will i generally freeze as i adjust to sub-80 degree temps? will i visit everyone i want to and still find time for rest and recreation? will i hide in the corner or sleep underneath my bed? i could go on. The Lord only knows, and I'm thankful that I've learned to hand over each and every person to Jesus and thank Him as He lovingly walks beside them. I know He also is lovingly walking beside me and I'm so thankful for this past year. Oh the experiences. Lord help me to articulate, to understand, to process, to share, to love, to be patient and to experience your grace that is there for each day.