Departure Q&A

As I sit in the airport awaiting departure...wow...a lot has happened in the last year. Will I be able to accurately articulate every detail, each story? No. Am I the same as when I left america some 361 days ago? no. i cannot be. can i describe the transformation that has occurred in my heart and in my mind? no. will people at home understand completely? no. how could they when i can't even understand for myself? Will i miss white ant paste? no. will i miss eating bush rat? no. will i survive in the fast lane, that is america? no.ok. yes, but it will be challenging. Will i get frustrated with my inability to express things and others inability to understand? yes. will i enjoy cheese again? yes. will i be able to safely drive a vehicle following all traffic laws in the US? no. do i feel i have done enough here? no. will it ever be enough? no. do I trust Jesus with the rest? yes. will i miss bible studies in kamuda on saturdays? yes. will i miss father heart weekends with former child soldiers? yes. will i long for the quiet and peacefulness of the village? yes. will i miss primary school pit latrines? no. will i miss visiting nuru in the market? yes. will i miss carrying nathan on my back as hellen and i ride our bikes from her home to mine? yes. will i miss teaching lydia? yes. ok, i think you get the picture. i will miss many things. however i'm only gone for 6 weeks. i'm more concerned with my time in the states. will i freeze up when i walk into the cereal aisle and find cereal as far as i can see in both directions? will i generally freeze as i adjust to sub-80 degree temps? will i visit everyone i want to and still find time for rest and recreation? will i hide in the corner or sleep underneath my bed? i could go on. The Lord only knows, and I'm thankful that I've learned to hand over each and every person to Jesus and thank Him as He lovingly walks beside them. I know He also is lovingly walking beside me and I'm so thankful for this past year. Oh the experiences. Lord help me to articulate, to understand, to process, to share, to love, to be patient and to experience your grace that is there for each day.

He's Waiting

I went to the market this afternoon for a few things. I greeted my friend Nuru as I always do when I go to market. For those of you who don't know, she is a m.sl.m and she is one of my friends here. She entered my life a few days after a teammate prayed that each of us on the team would come to know a m.sl.m by name so we could begin praying for them by name. She has become a friend, she helps me when ever i need to know the best place to buy something, she'll escort me around market. I help her sometimes giving her a ride in my car or on my bicycle. Anyway I keep sharing with her about Jesus, but she is not ready yet to give her life to Him. Today after I got my few items she was ready to go to prayers so I walked with her towards the m0sque. This is the second time in a week I've walked her to prayers. Man, it feels like I'm walking her to her other lover when I should be walking her to Christ. I think of God's jealous heart for His children and how He longs for each of them, and how they are His precious bride. And Nuru has the opportunity to come to Christ and experience his pure love, but now she's with another lover, one that will never satisfy, one that she could struggle her whole life to please and still die not knowing whether or not he accepts her. How I long for her to know the peace that surpasses understand, the easy yoke and light burden, the abundant life, the loving Father, His precious Son, and His Spirit within us! Please pray with me for her. She has become a good friend and my heart is burdened for her.

a "temporary" bridge story

So back on the 4th of March I headed to Sisiyi Falls with 4 guys from the village in Kamuda. This was the 4th such group that I've taken. Mostly on the way there the roads are ok. We travel on pavement (mostly with car-sized potholes) for about an hour and half, and then a marram (like dirt) road for the last 15min. Back in May or June of last year a bridge got washed out somehow on the marram road. They quickly made a temporary bridge out of wood mainly 4x4's for the support and 2x6's for the road portion. It would always sway a little but as we crossed but overall it felt pretty secure. I never really feared for my life. Anyway, this 4th of March trip was a little different. You see the original bridge had still not been rebuilt so the "temporary" bridge was still there. It had of course seen better days, and looked more like it had been patched together over the last couple months and I feared as we made our way closer. The boys in the back were also a bit concerned, but I said a quick prayer and crossed. We made it. We enjoyed our time at sisiyi falls. And then came sunday when we had to cross back over the "temporary" bridge. This time as we approached we saw some ladies who had been standing on the bridge walk slowly away, each lady carrying some small pieces of wood. (were they taking parts of the bridge for firewood?? I don't know) It made me a little more nervous, but we prayed and crossed again. Yes! Success. Now that brings me to this past weekend. This time our team was going to Sisiyi Falls for a two-day time of fun and refreshment together. I shared with Jennifer that I was thinking maybe we should all walk across the bridge and let the driver alone cross or something like that, because it didn't seem too secure last time I was there. But as we approached the bridge this time it looked good. Almost like the original "temporary" bridge before the patchwork. The other people on the team wondered why I was so concerned about this bridge when it looked so good. When we reached to sisiyi. I was talking to Margaret (she's a worker at Sisiyi Falls Garden). She told me that the day after we left last time, back in the beginning of March, a car went down with the bridge. She assured me that there were no casualties, at least immediately...and she went on to inform me that they just finished repairing the "temporary" bridge two or three days before we came this time. I'm thankful for the Lord's grace protecting us as we traveled that last time, when the bridge had only one day of life left in it. And I'm thankful it was repaired in time for us to come back. Now we wait maybe 3-6 months for the real bridge to be repaired...

Transformed lives in Abim

I went to Abim on Monday to follow up with the youth who had been to the Father Heart Encounter last month. Many are full orphans and some have either just a mother or father still alive. All have been affected in one way or another by the karamojong cattle rustlers or the LRA (the rebel group that abducts children and forces them to fight). When these youth were at the Father Heart Encounter I saw many receive freedom from the shame and fear and bitterness in their hearts. I wanted to check up on them and see whether or not the change was remaining in them or if they had been overwhelmed with life back at home. I also wanted to talk with them about starting up a meeting for bible study and prayer once a month to continue discipling them. To my great delight each I talked with reported a great change in their life. I was only able to go for two days instead of my desired 4 days, but I was able to meet with 12 of the 20 youth. Below I am meeting with S, W and R. We're at S's home. She had been abducted by LRA and raped from there. She has a daughter which she produced as a result who is now three years. She testified that since coming back from the F-H Encounter that she now feels free, she's shared with her friends about this new freedom and what she learned from there and she says her friends have noticed a difference in her.

Next I talked with W. He explained that since coming back from F-H Encounter he has stopped getting drunk on alcohol and also shared with his friends about Jesus and they also stopped drinking. Now instead of drinking they either play football or chat with friends about the word of God. Then R. He says that he used to be rude to people and could quarrel with people, but now he has more forgiveness in his heart and forgives people much easier. Also he used to struggle to get money to survive, but since coming back from F-H Enounter he's been able to get some little money to survive on.

After visiting these three I went on to visit J. She's in school at the secondary school there. She's pictured below with me. Besides just visiting them I was also able to give many of them a picture that I took of them from Jinja where the F-H Encounter took place. They have so few pictures of themselves, if any, so they loved receiving these. Below we are looking through some of the pictures. J shared that her heart was now free, she feels better and she's even shared at her church about the freedom that comes with forgiving others.

I met with many others, which I won't describe each one, but I kept hearing things like: Respect for family and others have increased, discipline has gotten better, has begun praying about everything, stopped quarreling, and have been meeting together to pray and share the word, feels a new love for Christ, no more bad dreams, freedom from shame and fear, came to know God now cannot do ungodly things. As I talked with each, my heart continued in praise to our great Father who had ministered to these broken hearts. The power of the Holy Spirit at work in these lives. All were excited to have some kind of bible study and prayer group started to continue learning and growing.

This place is called Lotuke Sub-county in Abim district and it is a beautiful place that has suffered much. As I drove and walked around the place I found it hard to believe all the death and destruction that had taken place there. It seems so peaceful and quiet now. Many have moved close together to help protect each other. Below is a picture of one group of houses.

Though there was much change with these children in their hearts, they still have much need in the physical, seeing how poverty often comes married to war and violence. Many of these youth expressed a desire to go back to school, but did not have school fees. Some are the heads of their households and need to help provide for their family, but are struggling to do so. Some are being taken care of by grandmothers who are very old and sickly. Please pray for these youth for continued provision in the spiritual and physical. Please pray that I would have wisdom as to how to help meet some physical needs as well as spiritual. Thank you for your continued partnership in prayer. You have helped to set captives free. Praise the Lord with me for His continued grace and power displayed so evidently in the lives of these youth!

grace for each day

The power has been out since yesterday, I was supposed to teach Lydia this morning, but she was sick. Betty was at my door by 7:45am wanting to wash her clothes from our tap. We first had to take Jennifer to the bus park. Shortly after returning… a young woman about 17years old shows up at our gate with her 2 year old son. At least I thought he was a boy until I saw he was wearing a cute frilly dress (he was strapped on to her back until then). Turns out he is indeed a boy, just doesn’t have clothes that are “gender appropriate.” Neither have shoes and they don’t speak ateso. They’re from southern sudan, well they’re trying to get back there. Apparently the girl worked in mbale for about 1.5years for a mslm lady who never paid her and abused her. The lady wouldn’t even give her transport money back home. So I’m still not sure who told her she should come to my gate, but there she was.

All she owned in one diaper bag. Gave her some tea and food and she wanted to wash her clothes too and bathe the baby and herself, so gave her some soap and water. She’s a Christian, but didn’t have a bible says she can read, so gave her a bible and a children’s bible. We also have a few shoes left over from Remembrance church’s vbs donation, so we were able to give them shoes also. And even got an outfit from Luka (MK) for little Joseph. She was so grateful for all things.

Brought her to the bus park and gave her money for transport. This is all before lunch. Power came back sometime in there so I could get the email out that I needed to. Brought Sarah her school uniform and some other things for Jennifer since she had to go to Kenya. Then had to go back to the house to clean it a bit b/c we (betty’s still with me) were having Nuru over for lunch (my mslm friend from market) along with her children. Then we quickly went to pick her up brought her to the house and prepared lunch and then ate. Made the mistake of using pans and plates that have touched pork in the past, so she was a bit troubled by that, and so was I, but she said she forgave me, I try not to beat myself up over how I could ruin a relationship just like that. Lord help me. Thank you that you can even use my mistakes for Your glory. After lunch took nuru home. Stopped by a boarding school to visit Dina, who I am sponsoring to go to school. She seems to be doing well. Enjoys geography, shared some interesting things about the choir members who have demons or worship the devil, and how they call homosexual activity in the dorms “bonding”. Hmmm, what an innocent name. anyway, so we (abella’s with me now) went back home, to find about 10 kids waiting outside the gate. They want to play. We decided on a movie, after much debate we decided on the Disney’s Joseph movie. Made some kool-aid. I was able to make some phone calls and wash my hair while they watch the movie. Movie finished, they went home. Bathed. The guard’s step-daughter shows up to turn on the gate lights and inform me the guard’s is going to be delayed. Learned yet another way to say thank you. Afowyo. Add that to Wanyala, Webale, Apowyo, Iyalama. All in one country. Yeah, so then began gathering the chickens to put them in the hen house, still can’t find my sweet village hen called gwen. Then began working on my newsletter. Internet not working…Finished newsletter, internet working emailed for proofreading, checking facebook, internet not working again. Approaching 10pm. Trying internet one more time. If not this will have to post tomorrow…nope, no internet…this will have to wait. Now it is morning again, internet net working, but power is back off, and so it begins again. Praise the Lord for His grace is sufficient. Yesterday morning I had prayed that my house would be a place of refuge and for the pouring out of Jesus’ love. God Answered that prayer. I also asked for the grace I needed for the day. He answered that one too. Praise the Lord who hears our cries and answers them.

the experience of bible study

Too often I'm failing to write in this blog because I am wearied by the thought of how to explain the experiences that I go through in a way that i feel is sufficient to really allow the reader to completely share in the experience with me. And things happen in experiences here it seems. I don't just go to do bible study in the village at 2pm and come back at 5pm having read, shared, prayed, sang. no. I'm finding it's always an experience. I don't want to be wearied any longer by this daunting task of transforming experiences into written word. So i'm going to try to share about the experience of bible study yesterday. I'm now not going to fear writing for too long or too short, i'm just go to write, so be prepared. On saturday morning I had bible study with betty and abella and a Lydia (the missionary kid that I teach twice a week). After we finished i was left with a few hours still before having to leave for the other bible study i help lead in Kamuda. Though it is only about 13km away it is definitely village. I thought I would use the few hours before hand to prepare what I might share if the guy who was supposed to share didn't show up. I began preparing. We'd been studying out of John each week and so i was looking through John and considered sharing about when they wanted to stone the woman caught in adultery. I've heard so many sermons on this, I thought, well this will be easy and so i began in my mind preparing what I might share. I wasn't feeling completely sure about it, but felt good enough and thus moved on to reading a book. The book is called The Path of Loneliness by Elisabeth Elliot. Anyway, I would periodically stop reading and consider what was being shared in that book. My mind also wanted to meditate on a portion of scripture that the Lord had brought to my mind in the morning while i was out for a bike ride, "The enemy is His footstool" All that to say...I was in a process of listening to the Lord and attempting to learn from Him, more about Him. I continued reading from the book where Ms. Elliot quoted from Isaiah 43:1-5. I wanted to read it from my version and found that I was encouraged by it, especially the part where God says, "You are precious to me, honored, and I love you." What powerful, transforming words, to know that the God of the entire universe, thinks I'm precious and loves me so much. As I was processing those words from my loving Father, I began to picture the faces of the young men and women that God had thus far had me sharing His word with. I could see so much the pain in their eyes and how He longed for them to know how He loved them, and that no matter what they were going through they are precious to Him and He is with them. With that in the back of my mind it was time to go to bible study. I left at almost 2pm and reached around 2:15pm. On my way I found one of the youth walking, she's called Mary and she's usually the first one there, so I knew I was in for a wait when even she hadn't arrived yet. Mary and I reached the Sub-county headquarters, which is where we meet. We hadn't had bible study in two weeks and it was the day after elections so we weren't sure how many would actually come. Of the group I think Mary's english is not the best and my kumam is limited to greetings pretty much and Berna was not able to come and translate. ok, let me continue on here. So we waited until about 3:30 and only one other person had come. We decided to go look for another girl called Dina. I've put her into boarding school b/c of the situation at home, but she was home for the elections and had told me she would meet me at bible study. On the way to Dina's we stopped by Paul's house (he's the one supposed to lead today). He was out grazing his animals and said he was coming when he finished. We went on to Dina's and found she had gone to church. we went to her church and found she had left for bible study. we headed back to bible study, passed by paul's house and paul's wife said dina had come by and was headed back to her house to find us. Somehow we had passed each other twice on the way. So we quickly headed back toward her house and found her on the way this time. Then she went home packed her things (she was going to head back into to town with me b/c her grandfather was quarreling with her and there were too many temptations around, she said even over holidays she no longer wanted to go home), so we waited for her. While we were waiting Mary said that her heart was hurting because she loved the word of God and wanted to have bible study...but where were the people...and now it's becoming late and we have no time...and then Dina came and we drove back to the bible study, stopping by paul's to pick him up. When we reached we found Grace and Maggie waiting for us. We were now 7. Seems like a good number. Paul had not had time to prepare anything to share with the youth and I felt compelled to share what I had studied earlier that day from Isaiah. But before we could start bible study we met a woman who was staying at that clinic that was just there nearby. She was Paul's cousin and we felt we should pray for her. We went in her room and we sang a worship song and then prayed for her. I know the Lord touched her heart even in that short time as tears began falling softly from her eyes. I pray the Lord continues to draw her to Himself. Then it was finally time to begin bible study. Just as we were about to start, it was now about 4:45pm Brenda arrived. After reading Isaiah 43:1-5 I was able to go around to each of these young woman, and look them in the eyes and tell them how precious they are to God and how much He loves them. As I was going around the group Beatrice arrived. After that we had anyone share about anything difficult that they were going through that we could pray with them about. Dina shared about her struggle at home, quarreling with her grandfather, who had even told her to excavate her dead mother and have sex with her (or something along those lines, it may have changed a bit in translation). Anyway she shared how they didn't want her in school and were wanting her to get married (so they could get cows for her). After she shared Mary volunteered to pray for her, but first encouraged her to harbor no bitterness in her heart toward them and forgive them for mistreating her. The others shared also, Maggie with temptation with school (like dropping out to get married) and Beatrice with her parents always quarreling and her dad not wanting her to continue school so he can sell ( i mean marry) her off. It breaks my heart that so many of these beautiful young ladies are reduced to a few cows in their parents eyes. Too many fail to reach secondary school because they are "married off" for a few cows. We prayed for each after they shared and it was a good time of encouraging and prayer. Sarah recommitted her life to Christ. And Richard joined us just as we were finishing. I bought soda and crackers for the now 10 people, because, wow it was hot and we were tired. Afterwards Dina said she wanted to stay at her home until monday rather than coming home with me now. I think the Lord did a work in her heart, as she appeared to want to stay and resolve the conflict with her grandfather, rather than leaving in bitterness and unforgiveness. So...I took dina home, then Sarah, then Paul, where it was insisted that I stay and have supper, as it was now around 7:30pm. So Mary and I stayed, had some supper, and then around 9pm continued on our way. I dropped Mary, where I had to stop and greet her family for a few minutes, and then finally head for home around 9:30pm. So much for just going to bible study from 2pm-5pm. But I wouldn't have had it any other way. I don't know if I've adequately described the day in it's entirety, but I hope you at least get the idea.

waiting for friday

Most people in america are always waiting for friday, for the freedom of the weekend. This week we're waiting for friday also in uganda. We're too hoping for freedom, but not so sure it will come. I returned on tuesday to Soroti after two weeks of being in Jinja and Kampala. I had an amazing time with two different groups of former child soldiers over the two weekends, learning about God's Father heart for them. I'm still processing these weekends, but hope to update on them in my next newsletter. On the drive back from Jinja to Soroti (it's about 3.5hrs drive) every thing seemed so peaceful and calm. Presidential Elections are on friday and most people are concerned about what will happen. I thought there would be more unrest up to this point for some reason, but things have been calm. I asked my friend at the market about it and she said we're just waiting for Friday. My 12 year old friend Abella says that they will not go to school on friday because the school headmaster said he didn't know what he would do if war broke out and all the children were at school. seems like a legit reason to stay home for the day. It seems no one wants war, and yet so many are fearing it will come. How can war come within a country when no one wants it? Haven't the people here seen enough of what war can and has done to their country, their people? I wondering just how fast it could turn from calm and peaceful to anger and chaos? I find myself now also just waiting for Friday. What will happen? Only the Lord knows, and I'm thankful He is my Keeper. So as you wait for friday in america or europe or where ever, please be praying for Uganda. We want friday to come and freedom and peace to follow.