good gifts

So today I was riding to work on my bike when I noticed that my IT Band (I forget what it's short for) didn't hurt anymore. For a couple weeks it was hurting and it made riding my bike painful and not as much fun. One day I prayed Jesus please, would you please heal my IT band, and don't worry I gave Him a good list of reasons why this would be beneficial to me and Him even though the healing wouldn't be at some major event for all to see. Well this morning I realized that He had answered that prayer, (it must have been my great reasoning skills =), actually more like His grace). My leg doesn't hurt anymore. So that's awesome, praise God! But you know what was the disappointing thing, I was afraid to thank Him, thinking for whatever reason, once I saw how He had blessed me and acknowledged it He'd take it away. Do I really think He's that cruel? I sure hope not, but I quickly prayed for forgiveness for treating Him that way. Instead of rejoicing in all circumstances, I'd let bitterness from previous circumstances and experiences dictate my present response. I allowed satan to steal my joy. I've found one of the most helpful things when I struggle with this is constantly reminding myself that God is FOR ME not against. He is a God that gives good gifts, that works all things out for the good of those who love Him, who left paradise to join us in suffering in order that we might join Him in paradise. Why is this so hard to believe sometimes, so hard to accept that God wants to lavish us with His love. Who am I to judge God and consider whether He is fair or not to me? Holy Spirit be our teacher, reveal the Father's beautiful heart. And Father forgive us for living in such a way that we forget that you are for us and long to lavish us with your love. Jesus, thanks for being the best gift of all.