America: An African Boy's Perspective Part 12.

My sincere hope is that, this post will get people talking, thinking, debating and praying afresh about and for Africa. I am warning you in advance that this post is relatively long, but i hope it will make some sense to you.  Billions of dollars from America and other countries have been spent, and yet, nothing much seems to change. This shows us that the continent's problems lie beyond money. The greatest problem Africa is grappling with, is lack of self esteem and/ or confidence. Was this problem there since creation, no, i don't think so. But with the advent of colonialism, esteem started dropping as tribe after tribe was brought down to submission. And after nation and nation gained independence, the colonial masters forgot an important thing; they forgot that they had decimated the people's self esteem and confidence and hence, needed to work on this, to ensure the nations continued to develop and prosper. Subsequent tribal and guerrilla wars that marred the continent further helped to create a situation of helplessness and begging.
Since coming to America, i have observed something striking that has somewhat, helped me to put into perspective how Africa's esteem problems must have started. I have observed that here, most dogs love cheese; my mother-in-law's dog even knows the sound of a paper used for wrapping cheese! And once in a while, i have observed the excitement in the faces of the dogs when they see that they are about to receive a treat, which in most cases, have been cheese. The dogs can do any tick that they are asked to: greet with one paw after the other, lie down as if dead, walk on hind legs, etc; because they know, after all these, they will get a treat! The same happened and still happens in relation to African leaders and their powerful western masters; they are pawns; they have to do what they are told and how they are told, in return for much needed aid and other forms of assistance. Some of these leaders have become very good at performing that they have amassed a lot of treats! The biggest problem is, do they think for themselves? can they ever make their own decisions without influence and consultation with their masters? I don't think so. and because most of these leaders have had to perform in order to get aid and all this stuff, they have personalized whatever their governments have received in aid, and have swindled it into their own personal accounts, hence the emergence and increasing rise in corruption. And what is disturbing is that, these leaders are doing the same thing to those they govern, they make them dance to their tune and do as they are told, in order to get ministerial rewards, juicy employments and other privileges. This has given rise to generations of people who have gone to school and attained good academic papers, but can't think independently. Someone who wields whatever power over them has to think for them, and some have given up on their own abilities to cause change. Because of low esteem, most people have surrendered their rights and talents to some "superior" individuals and systems.

Should the continent keep mourning about the stolen minerals and other resources? No, i don't think so. Africa still has enough resources to lift it self up from its current state of quagmire. So, how then can the west help the continent come out of its state? That's the greatest question of the day.
As stated earlier, the confidence/identity/esteem crisis needs to be addressed before any meaningful change and transformation can take place and this needs to be addressed from bottom up and not top to bottom.
First, we need to understand the people and how the systems work, before anything else. The African culture is all about relationships first, then tasks/needs. Relationships are so much valued and are sacred. There's a saying that "blood is thicker than water"; this is entrenched among the people. This means brother/sister/father/mother/relative comes first before "a friend". Close friends usually become brothers or sisters; but this only happens after they prove themselves to be worthy of the acceptance. There's a lot of treachery and secrecy among the African people; your ability to keep a secret is key in all relationships; and in order to be trusted with some of the deepest secrets, you must prove your ability by keeping minor secrets (sometimes even if a gun is pointed at you!). The normal friends take the place of water and this means a friend can be sacrificed instead of a brother. And being considered a brother or sister is not something you achieve easily, it takes time and can be frustrating at times, because it some times entails lies in order to protect the "blood" and sacrifice the "water". So, for anyone who desires to cause meaningful change in a person or society, the most single important thing is working yourself to become part of the "blood" and once you achieve that status, then you can begin to influence. This reminds me of two examples; first, while in South Sudan a few years ago, living in the most remotest places i have ever seen, among some of the remote people (they were about 50 years behind civilization), there was a remarkable story of a former Dutch journalist who had gone there to cover the war in the 1980s. However, one day, the situation changed and all foreign countries had to evacuate their citizens and this guy, because he was deep in the bushes covering the war in the rebel territories, got left behind! The Dinka rebels took him in as one of them, he was given protection and those assigned to protect him were told their lives depended on the Dutch man's safety. They liked him, and loved him, he became one of them and he liked them and loved them and wanted to become part of them. They trusted him and he became their "wise judge". After the war, they told him he was free to go back to Holland, but he declined it and told them he was now a Dinka and wanted to stay. They gave him a local name and made him their chief judge. His words and judgement were made final and hence, he started influencing how justice was being administered among the people; he became "blood".
The second example is that of the early missionaries. These men and women came from distant places; they journeyed into the unknown, with no vision trips, but maps! They said their last goodbyes to their loved ones before departing, knowing that they were never going to see each other again (at least not in this world). Someone once told me these guys had to pack some of their belongings inside their coffins. Some grandparents never got to meet their grand kids, because they were born in the mission field. Some of these missionaries got killed by either the animals or the hostile African tribes; but many of them, got accepted and received and as time went on, they became part of the people, part of the tribes. They learned the local language, ate local food and became "blood" rather than just friends. Their influence was immense, as the local people believed in God, they gave their lands freely for churches and schools to be built. My grand parents and other old people i have come to interact with over the years always pridefully recollected how they used to walk for a day or two to go for Sunday service in in the nearby church! Imagine going to church started on Friday or Saturday and then you returned home by Monday or Tuesday! They also shared how they lobbied for the churches to be built nearer to them.

The above examples show us, how change was caused by first of all, building a relationship and then after becoming part of the "blood", change started taking place. The biggest difference between the western culture and the African culture is that, in the west, task comes first, while in Africa, relationships come first, before task. That's why most humanitarians from the west have gone to the continent and gotten disappointed and frustrated at the way people are "lazy".
One other helpful thing for someone who wants to cause change in Africa is that, among many tribes, a visitor is a blessing and therefore, everyone will put on their best smile and behavior when a visitor comes. They will say yes to almost everything the visitor says, but then after the visitor goes back, then they begin expressing how burdensome or naughty or good or whatever, their visitor was. In my own culture, usually when a visitor comes, he or she is not expected to work or do anything for the first three to seven days; he or she is supposed to relax and share more about where they have come from. And then after this period, the visitor is welcome to work or join them in any activity (ies). In most cases, visitors from the west come and go straight to do what has taken them there! The people will say yes, and smile, but the impact usually is very minimal. And if the visitor leaves or buys for the people an animal or bird or even a cloth, then that thing will be named after the visitor (because the visit was short, that you never got to interact and be told what the real need was).
African people are very prideful and men especially, desire to be treated with dignity and respect. Usually, this entails listening to their views and thoughts. They don't like being told what to do without their contributions; but because of the confidence and esteem issues, they are usually not forthright unless they feel comfortable enough with the people they are talking to. I got to understand this better a couple of years ago when i was part of the research team that conducted a World Food Program research on the effect of aid by Non Governmental Organizations to the local people of three different communities in Uganda. Interacting with these people was mind opening. In one community that had been affected by the floods, Doctors Without Borders had responded by giving the local people toothbrushes and toothpastes. The people had never used any of these before and hence, it wasn't a need. They use sticks to brush their teeth and use sand to whiten the teeth. So, the toothpaste got put into tea, since the smell and the taste was good and the toothbrushes used for combing infants hair! There were many countless examples of western organizations trying to respond and help in the best way they know of, and yet the aid was or is not needed by the people; and yet these people will never say No to this aid, because they want to sound polite to the visitors! If someone had spent time with these communities, they would have known what the people really needed.

The other bunch of Africans that have received a raw deal of help is the orphans and other vulnerable children. There are many big organizations sponsoring these children; i have read and seen what really takes place and having worked with one of the biggest ones in our region, i am in the right position to make a comment. Child sponsorship became a gold mine in Africa following different wars and conflicts that have gripped the continent since independence and later on, the emergence of HIV/AIDS also left many children orphans, myself, inclusive. Nothing touches anyone more than a face of a suffering child; that's how powerful we are all connected to children and most of us want to help a child; which is a noble thing. However, my problem is with the kind of help these orphans receive. It's wonderful that most of these big western organization provide these children with food, clothing and some, playing materials and education. But my biggest problem and concern is, what do these children become a few years after the program? Most, if not all of the main stream child sponsorship organizations i know of, stop a child from the program when they reach 18 years of age. You must know that quite often, an orphan is treated as cheap source of labor, and as such, many care givers would rather have that child do garden and domestic work than send them to school. This means, they start going to school later than their peers and by the time they are 18, most would have not completed junior high school and some wouldn't have even completed elementary school, and yet they get dropped because they are now "adults". With that education, there's almost no job for these young adults. And what is even harder for them is that; once they get absorbed into the program, the care givers give up on helping them and when they go to junior high school (these are mostly in urbanized centers), they get a taste of a "better" life and so, when they get dropped, they really struggle because they don't feel comfortable going to their villages because they have had a taste of town life and yet, they don't have the education that is required to have a job in the town. I have also observed that the orphans who never make it to these sponsorship programs have relatively stable futures in the villages after they are 18 compared to those who later get dropped from the program.
This is not to say that these programs have completely failed, i have seen 2-4 orphans from two different organizations who, because of their excellent academic performances, have been sent to the university, even though they were beyond 18. My concern is for the majority. Less than 5% of the kids that go through these programs become success stories 5 years after getting out of the program. Let's work on making these success rates at least 30%. There's of course the aspect of misuse of resources. Most people who manage these organizations in-country earn less than $1,500 per month, and yet after working for a few months, they start constructing houses worth thousands of dollars, anyway, that's a matter for another day.
My recommendation would be to sort out these kids when they are in 5th or 6th grade and send them to various vocational schools to learn a skill or trade or even have people come from the west to go and walk alongside some of these kids, teaching them a trade or a skill.

The future of Africa is in manufacturing and industry. It's only in Africa where people sleep and walk on gold and other minerals, and yet go without food. The best help Africa needs right now, even the church there, is self esteem. And this can be achieved by first of all, engaging in meaningful relationships, relationships that are not started or flamed by finances, but those started and rooted in love, where finances are not the main thing. Relationship that become "blood" (one). These will take time and may cause frustrations, and will also help weed out those who want to become your friend for the money and those who are not. Usually the hardest thing is knowing when to say yes and no to whatever need that there is. I tell you the truth, when you respond out of emotion, usually you will end up doing a wrong thing. But if you wait until the emotions calm down and then spend time in prayer, the Spirit will guide you in the best possible way to respond. As we encourage and build these people up, we also have to be careful not to become their "saviors", because there is only one Savior and provider and we want to point them to Him. The move to build self esteem and confidence in the continent needs to have its focus on the church and the young generation. The day a quarter of the continent will have self esteem and confidence in itself to solve it's own problems, to let the things of the past be the past and focus on the future, the day young people in every country will speak these words with total conviction "We can change the world", then true change will come, good leaders will emerge, ethical doctors and nurses will emerge, engineers, entrepreneurs, business men and women, pastors and evangelists, etc, will rise and with a confident developing and thriving Africa, the world in general will become a better place for all of us.