Represent

"I have chosen to live as if every conversation I have, as if everything I do either blesses or defiles someone else." I'm reading a book called Experiencing Father's Embrace by Jack Frost and was challenged by that statement this evening. Everyday my path crosses with so many different people, sometimes just passing by, sometimes they want something from me, or I want something from them, but no matter how formal or informal, how casual or intimate the conversation is I choose to pass on life and love or death and defilement. That seems so harsh to say it that way, death and defilement, and yet when I think about it, it's pretty accurate. My words can cause the death of someone's hopes, or can mar someone's view of God. If someone come up to me for the tenth time asking for school fees, even if I know it's not my place to give the money for fees for this particular person, there is a way in sharing that information with the person that either blesses or defiles, either builds up or tears down. Jack goes on later to make the statement, "Every misrepresentation of God's love to another individual is an area of sin and darkness in your life." Have I perfectly represented God's love today to everyone I met? No. Thank God for His grace and that He forgives. But I know by His Spirit He can continue to mold me and refine me and pour His love through me in such a way that I represent His love better and better every day. Am I willing to go through that refining? Yes. I desire Truth in my inmost being. Will it be easy? No. But I fix my eyes on Jesus the Author and Perfecter of my faith. The love of God has transformed my life, and I want to continually pass that love and life on. Father God, help me to walk by Your Spirit, that I am able to be an accurate representation of your love to all those that I meet.

Crying out with Ezra

I was reading the book of Ezra over the last week and have been quite impacted by it. Listen to this, "As soon as I heard this, I tore my garment and my cloak and pulled hair from my head and beard and sat appalled. (9:3)" This is Ezra's response to the unfaithfulness of God's people, their deliberate disobedience. and He goes on, "At evening sacrifice I rose from my fasting, with my garment and my cloak torn, and fell upon my knees and spread out my hands to the LORD my God, saying, 'O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens. (9:5-6)'" He cries out on behalf of his people. It strikes me that it is not he who was in individual sin, he had not intermarried with the pagans as so many others had, but he still mourned and interceded on behalf of God's people, and even identified himself as guilty along with the rest. He felt a certain connectedness with his fellow believers. It seems these days we've lost some of this as the bride of Christ, especially in the western church. To each is own, and don't try to tell somebody else what to do, let them go their way, and if they're in sin, don't try to come along side them because they might think you are judging them. We've lost being appalled at sin. We forget what it does to our Father's heart. We don't feel called to repent and cry out on behalf of our brothers and sisters who are stuck in sin. I remember a pastor once explaining that if we knew what our sin does to the heart of our Heavenly Father we would say of course gouge out our eye if it causes us to sin, we'd freely cut off our hand if it caused us to sin, if we even understood just a bit of what our sin does to our Father's heart. We know we are all apart of one body in Christ, as much as our american ways drive us toward independence, we are dependent on Christ and on the body of Christ, when one part of the body suffers we all suffer. I want to become more appalled at sin in my own heart and in the bride of the Christ, I want to come and plead before the Lord on behalf of my brothers and sisters. I don't want to continue on saying, ah, that sin is not mine, the sin of abortion, not my problem, the sin of pornography not my problem, the sin of adultery not my problem, they're not my problem if I'm not struggling with them, and yet these and other sins are eating away, slowly destroying the beautiful bride of Christ. I need to be concerned about this, I need to cry out to my God, begging forgiveness on behalf of my brothers and sisters. The Lord knows I'm not perfect, and I am always asking forgiveness for my own sins, but how often am I standing in the gap for the global church? Do I allow myself to become appalled by our sin as a whole, our unfaithfulness as a bride? Do I realize how it effects the heart of God? Lord, teach me, teach us, that it isn't just about ourselves, open up our eyes to see the state of the church as a whole and how we might join with one another and cry out to you Lord, appalled by our sin and begging for you in your mercy, to not forsake us in our slavery to sin, but extend to us your steadfast love!

The most encouraging part I found while reading the book of Ezra was the phrase that he used over and over again, "The hand of Lord my God was on me...the good hand of our God on us, The hand of our God is for good...the hand of our God was on us." Even in our sin, the good hand of the Lord is upon us, longing to draw us back to Himself, awaiting us to come to our senses.

Learning

For some reason the last few weeks, I've at a loss as to what to share. And it's not for a lack of things going on. Maybe things that I used to find strange or funny are becoming more normal. I think I will just share what I've been learning over the last few weeks in some kind of list. Because they don't seem very connected, i'm currently doubting my capabilities to draw them all together in some creative way, so let me just begin.

-I learned when I feel free to open up and share some struggles that I have, or times when I've been trapped in some sin, it tends to bring freedom to whom I share with for them also to share. I like that freedom and transparency.

-I am prideful. Well...I am a work in progress anyway. I am currently doing a bible study with Betty & Abela about three mornings a week. (B&A are both 12yrs old and often find themselves at our house) We are reading through the book of matthew together and a couple weeks ago we read through the beatitudes. The first one, Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven really struck me again. I began to pray that God would grant me this poverty in spirit and increase my knowledge of the desperate situation I am in without Him. And so having forgot that I prayed that I found myself a week later, speaking to myself, something along the lines of, man, why am I so not nice these days, and i need to learn how to be more loving, and I found myself getting frustrated with myself. It's then God reminded me of that prayer and really spoke to my heart, See, my child, see how I am constantly at work in you and how desperately in need of Me you are? And I thanked Him for revealing that to me and for answering my prayer. He really worked on my pride and I'm so grateful He answered that prayer, though of course I was wishing there was a less painful way. =)

-I learned 26 people can fit pretty well into a van made for 15.

-I learned that I can buy 12 Disney movies on one disk for 8,000 shillings (~4$).

-I learned if I really understood the power and potential in fasting, I would fast more and more faithfully.

-I learned that I can bite my tongue in my sleep and wake myself in the process.

-I learned that 72 degrees is cold.

-I learned that I have much more to learn about Mslm ministry.

-I learned it's really hard to plan my next trip home because I want to see everyone across the country, but definitely won't be able to...decisions, decisions.

-I learned today that Berna and I are going to be sharing the word of God at a youth conference in the village on Monday and Tuesday to about 100 youth. Nothing like giving you two days time to prepare...at least it's not day of.

-I learned the more I learn the more I have yet to learn.

indeed they are doves

The weekend before Christmas Berna and I took 4 girls to Sisiyi Falls Garden to share with them the word of God. As I wrote a couple weeks ago in this blog, God gave me a picture of ravens (basically, stuck eating dead things) and then doves (flying high and free). As Berna and I were planning, there was really no other pictures or scriptures the Lord gave to us to share. The previous times when we were going we had it all planned out, just what scriptures we were going to read and just what questions to ask, but this time we didn't feel any leading toward any particular thing, only the promise of the ravens to doves that God wanted to do in these girls lives. On the day we were leaving, God did give me one scripture, from Zechariah 3:1-7ish. I shared this with Berna as we met to pray for our trip before going to pick up the girls. As I was explaining to her I still didn't feel confident about going with so little preparation, and would this somewhat obscure passage in Zechariah make sense to girls who, have never really read the bible before and were not yet born-again?? I was encouraged by Berna as we were discussing, she reminded me that God loves these girls even more than we do, and longs for them to come to Him even more than we do, and we just had to go and be open to how He would lead. He wanted all the glory for what would happen on this trip, and us going so "unprepared" would guarantee this.

So...we prayed and left to pick up the girls. Theres, Maggie (14), Beatrice (16), Goretty (18) and her baby beatu (1.5) and Alice Angela (18). When we arrived at Sisiyi Falls, and were eating a snack we asked who was born again, and Alice was the only one who was born-again. After our snack we went up to our tents, put our stuff down and explored the river at the base of the falls. We climbed over rocks and rapids, and we laughed and enjoyed ourselves seriously. normally we would not spend so much time exploring, but do a planned bible study, but this time we just enjoyed God's creation for a couple hours. After we explored we bathed and went down for supper. We chatted during supper and afterwards we wanted to have our first bible study session...but we had no idea what we were supposed to share. We sat around and it was a bit awkward because we just kinda looked at each other. Then I said to Berna let's sing. She laughed and said, I was just thinking that. So we sang a few songs and as we were singing, I felt God wanted me to ask what was preventing these girls from being saved, why didn't they want to become born again (I thought, well at least this way we'll know what we're up against). So when we finished singing, Berna asked me to share anything the Lord put on my heart, so I shared it with her and she said, we could ask them, so we did. Maggie said she had tried being "saved" once, but failed, so she gave up on trying to be saved. But she wanted us to pray with her to become born-again. Goretty said she didn't really know why she wasn't born-again, her mother was, but she was not. She said she wanted us to pray with her to become born again, then Beatrice...She said she also wanted to become born-again, but her father was threatening his children so they would not become saved, like he would chase them away if they did. But she said she had a grandmother who was born-again, but had died. Then she said that on the monday prior to coming on the trip her grandmother came to her in a dream and told her she should become born-again, so beatrice was planning to ask Jesus into her heart at the next sunday service she went to, so she too wanted us to pray with her to become born again. So all three were desiring to choose Jesus! We wanted to make sure they understood what it meant, and that's when I saw the verses from Zechariah 3 that God had given me should be shared. We talked about the enemy, Satan, standing accusing us, discouraging our hearts, because of our dirty clothes (our sin), but then how once we accept Christ and invite him into our hearts our dirty clothes are removed and we are given new, clean and pure garments, and authority and the evil one has no right to stand and accuse us, or take us away from God. We explained that nothing that they did could separate them from the love of God. All of them said they understood and wanted to be prayed for, so we went up by the camp fire we had started and each of the three girls knelt down one at a time and we prayed for with them, then they prayed, then we prayed for them. It was a beautiful time and I could see that God wanted to do more than we could ask or imagine. That he had transformed ravens to doves, he had replaced slavery with freedom, sadness with joy. I was so encouraged by this, and knowing it was nothing that I did, but follow the Holy Spirit's leading, helped me to give God all the glory for this transformation in these lives! I want to stop here, because it's already long, but before stopping, I want to share what we found out the next day. So the next day we climbed to the top of the falls and Berna felt we should both share our life stories, so I shared then she did and then each of the girls shared some about their lives and any prayer requests that they had. All of this was in kumam (except my life story) so I didn't get much of it. After we came back down from the top of the falls, Berna shared with me the information the girls had shared and this is what she shared: Maggie had been dedicated to the devil when she was just born, they took her to the swamp and "gave" her to the demons, so she's had bad dreams her whole life. Beatrice, a lot of witchcraft in her home, her brothers were dedicated to the devil, demons disturb her while she is sleeping. Her father was asking for prayers of deliverance from the church, but at the same time refusing his children to become saved. Goretty, lives with her aunt and uncle, who have shrines and buried witchcraft charms all over her compound. And Alice, her father is a witchdoctor in a village two hours away, he used to have 4 wives until her mother and another wife left him, after her mother moved herself and the children away alice used to have episodes where she would "run mad (crazy)" not eating for days and fearing to show up at school naked, etc...they discovered that the daughter of the other wife who had left would run mad at the same time as alice would. But, once alice became born-again a couple years ago she no longer runs mad, she's been free of that. So her prayer requests were for total deliverance and for her father to become saved. These girls had really come through some dark stuff, and had suffered much in their short lives, but they were now being set free! The rest of the weekend we explored more the river, we shared on forgiveness and living as a follower of Christ and prayed over them deliverance from the evil one. It was a great weekend, and I feel honored that God could use me, a weak clay vessel, to share His word and love with these ladies and that such transformation would occur. Thanks to every one for praying! Please continue to pray for these girls as they had to go back into their families who don't know Christ and could easily become discouraged. We gave them each a bible, so you can pray for truth from His word to penetrate their hearts. And beginning again on the 8th of January we'll continue our bible study with these girls and about 14 other youth. We're also going to begin showing dramas in the community to share the word of God. I think the first one will be shown on the 9th, Lord willing. here's a few pictures from the time at sisiyi:

Here we are on top of the falls:

And at the bottom:

Studying the Bible:

After going under the falls:

And little Beatu, so cute:

Traditional Turkey Transportation

It will never cease to amaze me the way women so skillfully balance so many different things on their heads as they travel...so far I think this might take the prize for most amazing...the pictures should speak for themselves...

yes...live turkey...yes...no hands assisting....yes...near vertical cliff face...yes...impressive...

ravens and doves

We are planning to take another group of 4 young ladies to Sisiyi Falls Garden tomorrow until Sunday (12/17-12/19). Please pray as we share with them the Word of God and His heart for them. As I was praying for them this morning the picture God gave me was first of a black bird, like a raven or something that eats dead animals and/or trash. Then He showed me a white bird, like a dove, flying high above the ground, so peaceful, so free, enjoying the life of royalty in a sense. So my prayer is for transformation in these girls hearts in line with that. That those girls would be set free from any sin that has trapped them, and their eyes and hearts open to receive what their Heavenly Father has to give them, such as the lavish love He pours out on us. That they would have a life changing encounter with the King of Kings!

Thanks for prayers.

a "sweet" from market

So I was at market today to pick up a few things, mangoes, fresh fish, avocado, watermelon, tomatoes and onions, etc...I was with my friends who are about twelve years old each, Betty and Abella. On the way into market there was one stall with a few things, and I saw some grey hard thing, like cement wrapped in newspaper, i asked betty what it was and just reached out to touch it and she says, ah, that's for pregnant ladies and quickly pulls me away. As we walk away Abella mentions, I've ever tried it (this means she's tried it before), it tastes good. Betty says, even me I like it. Apparently not just for pregnant ladies. Anyway, we walk throughout market and get everything we wanted. On the way out we pass by near that same stall, and a lady was sitting on the ground sorting through what looked to me like stones, Betty stops and says this is the one, the stones. So she reaches down and grabs some small, small, part of a stone, and eats it. Abella also is desiring one, so Betty grabs another little piece and hands it to Abella who also proceeds to eat. This is the stuff the pregnant ladies eat, I've figured. Now, I too am interested in what these "stones" taste like, Betty tells me they are like a sweet (candy), you can just suck on it, but Abella says she likes to chew it. So Betty finds me a piece and I try it. At first I suck on it, then chew it a bit. And then i proceed to spit it out as we walk away. It looked like a stone, so i should have figured it would taste like a stone. Well, I think it tasted more like dirt actually, but you get the idea.It was the worst "sweet" I've ever had. As we walk away Betty says the pregnant women love it. Let's just say for the time being, I'm glad I'm not pregnant.

On a more serious note, during the school holiday, so for december, january, and probably february, i'm doing a small bible study with these two girls two mornings a week, we are studying Matthew. please pray for our time together. when i asked if either had a prayer request this morning they both want to be able to read the bible better. Abella, just got a bible a month ago, and has already read through the gospels twice, and deuteronomy and now is making her way through Jeremiah. She said she is praying that she could understand the bigger words. Betty can't really read yet, a combination of poor schooling and we think a learning disability, so we're praying that God helps her brain to function

properly as it's intended to so she can also read a bible. Thanks for joining with me in praying for these girls. Oh that the love of Christ for His Bride would jump off the pages of His word in to their hearts.

Below is a picture of me with Betty and Abella a few months back, my hand is on Abella's head, Betty's the one with polka dots: