married

We had a beautiful wedding and a short reception due to the blessing of rain. I know so many people were not able to come, due to the distance, who would have loved to be there. So first I want to say thank you for all of your support and encouragement from near and far. I think I will write about the wedding in our next newsletter.
I wish I could write a reflection on married life, but as I think of what to write, I don't know where to begin. Somehow it doesn't even seem real yet. Months of preparation and then it's over in a matter of seconds, I do, I do. We did, and now we're two become one, just like that.
I think the hardest thing must be unmet expectations. I expect certain things that I may or may not verbally express and he also has his expectations. And then to make it more confusing, i can assume what his expectations are and he mine, and cause even more confusion and doubt.
Like in my mind, I find myself allowing the enemy to discourage me, thinking thoughts like, I know he would probably be happier if he had married a Ugandan woman who would treat him like lord & master and do whatever he says. I know it's a lie and sometimes it takes time before I dismiss it as such. And my loving Father keeps calling me to Himself, telling me to trust Him. And Ruudy is being so supportive also and reassuring me of his love. It amazes me how I can feel so strong in my identity as a child of the King one minute and then have such superficial doubts the next (I may blame it on my womanly cycle though I don't have sufficient proof).
All that to say I am learning and though to be honest have gotten discouraged at my own poor thoughts, I press on. I know that I have the mind of Christ, and He is renewing my mind day by day. I don't live as someone who has no hope. I have hope.