The Oldest and the Youngest

 As I have begun spending much more time in my new home in the village I thought I wound begin to introduce my new family. It's quite big, so it may take a while...I think for an average supper we are dishing out something like 15 plates. I will begin with the oldest and the youngest.  Meet Tata (grandmother) she's the mother of the father of the household.

Just a little bit of firewood

I don't even know her names as she is always lovingly referred to as Tata. We're not very sure how old she is, but we know she is old. Old enough by now she would be resting in some elderly village in the states, but here she doesn't have much time for resting. From making porridge, to pounding g-nuts (peanuts), harvesting millet, weeding gardens, looking for firewood, taking care of her grandkids, and great-grandkids, and doing any other housework that needs to be done, she is busy. Occasionally I can find her resting, on a sack, lying on the ground, but by that time it's a well deserved nap. I wish I spoke more ateso, so we could communicate more, but she's already communicated much to me through her day to day work. She may be old, but she is tough, and helps the family however she can. They say it's that hard work that has helped her to remain strong for so many years. She has lived through so many things, the LRA insurgency being one hard experience, especially since they took the life of one of her sons (Francis' father); Through Idi Amin's reign of terror, famine, colonization, decolonization, and the like. I would love to hear all of her stories, and understand them, which is good motivation to learn ateso.

Next. Ariokot Tofista, but that being a mouthful, we mainly call her Tofi (toe-fee). She is Francis and Josephine's first child. She's the youngest of the household at just over 5 months. Tata is her great-grandmother. She is what we would call in the states, "a bundle of joy."

Her favorite past time:high-pitched happy squeals

Francis talks about how people would talk about him, being a former child-soldier, and his wife, also a former child-soldier, and what kind of rebel family they would produce. But praise be to God! These former child-soldiers, have the peace, joy and love of Christ in their hearts and their family. Tofi is officially the happiest, most active and energetic baby I have ever met. My guess is she will skip past crawling and walking and go straight to running and jumping. Sometimes I can hold her up in the air above my head and look into her beautiful joy-filled face and wonder. What grace, what mercy the Lord has poured out on Francis and Josephine, keeping them both free from forced sex when they were abducted, and bringing them home again, to be able to begin making a family of their own filled with things that are opposite of their time in the bush. I don't know what plans God has for this family, but I know they are good and they will be used in a mighty way as they share the freedom in Christ that they have with other former child-soldiers who are still trapped in the horrors of their past.

Where am I?

There was talk of agents and underwater meetings, necessary sacrifices, curses of power outages, fire, and destruction of buildings, there is sickness, and talk of directors urinating in porridge. And there I was sitting there listening, wondering, was I hearing my friends discuss some horror movie they had seen recently, they can't seriously be discussing real life, life in a secondary school, can they?
Well I'm certainly not in america anymore. But where am I?
I was in the hospital room of Dina, who we had visited just the day before with many youth to pray for her and encourage her. and now we came back, just as the leaders, to pray and get the real scoop. Dina has been sick on and off for this whole last school term. One of her classmates said it was because her "mzungu"(white person) was not around to provide for her, but she had a different idea. She says that there's demons in that school. Many. And I've heard it from others, yes, that school has so many demons. And I can't help but wonder, what does that mean? What does it look like? She continued, there are two girls who go to the school and during a day of prayer and fasting they demanded that a sacrifice needed to be offered at the school. Apparently the director wasn't buying it so they gave the warnings, if you don't offer a sacrifice, there will be fire, there will be power outage, and one of the flats will fall. And then that week, one of the boys dorms started on fire, and in one class the light bulb burst and the youth ran out, and only came back in the morning to find their shoes...there was a rumor that the director had come in the night to make the porridge and had urinated in it. So everyone refused to take it and there were no classes that day and they called an assembly that night. And then the details get kind of hazy, as Dina begins talking of how the agents had to meet with the director underwater. I feel a little naive as I ask, what are agents, and what does it mean to meet underwater? The agents are of course satan's agents that he has chosen to work through, i.e. these two school girls, and maybe the director could be an agent also, otherwise why would he be meeting with them underwater. And underwater means in the underworld. Again, naively, I ask so how do you have a meeting in the underworld? They describe how sometimes its the spirits meeting, and other times they will meet physically. A person will just disappear for a while. We then continue discussing, why if the director was also an agent was there disagreement as to whether the sacrifice needed to be done. But it was suggested that the girls could be his bosses... And I'm thankful for Paul, my co-leader, who handles this conversation and situation so well. He recognizes that whether any of this is true, or it's all rumors, it's still of the evil one trying bring domination and intimidation through fear. And we question Dina as to what this has to do with her sickness. And why as a child of the Light, would this darkness have such an effect on her? We try to encourage her, speaking of how we are over-comers, and He who is in us is greater than he who is the world. But she's still insisting that on wednesday she will return to school, but only to pick her things, and then she'll be going back home. She spoke of how her dead mother has come to her in dreams, and then how afterwards she got sick. We tried encouraging her to finish the term out, that what if all of the strong christians leave this school out of fear? What will become of the place? I thought this was even a christian school? She just laughs. We prayed for her and we headed on our way. I don't know whether she will go back to school just to pick her things, or she'll find the strength to continue. But I do know I learned something this day. I was reminded of satan's tactics of fear, intimidation and deception, and how much power we often give to him, when in reality he has none. In the states we don't seem to even acknowledge how satan is involved, and out of ignorance he wins out, while here, he's too much credited and fear paralyzes and wins out. Oh that we would claim our victory that we have in Christ Jesus. We are more than conquerors! Lord have mercy on us.

Prayer

It feels good to be back. Today Angelina came over and chatted with me for a while.  It is always encouraging for me to hear her perspective on life, and living as a follower of Christ. Even though she is blind I gave her some pictures that my mom took of her while she was here and also a picture of my little 5 year old friend Josie who is in michigan and faithfully praying for Angelina. As she brushes her fingers over the photos and around the edges, she thanks me because now she will take them to church and they will use them as catalysts for prayer. Most of the photos are of our mu.sl.m friends with Angelina, so she is very excited to be praying for them with her church. Then she'll also be praying for Josie. And she requested that I print a picture of just me so that she and the rest of the interceders can pray for a husband for me. She spoke of how they prayed for Tim and Angie to conceive and was happy to hear that Eliana is now a healthy baby. She encouraged me to not give up praying for our mu.sl.m friends as I sometimes feel like doing.
Then later I went out to kamuda for our bible study with the Alive with Purpose group. Many youth have been gathering every saturday while I was gone and it was good to see them again tonight. During the meeting we got a call from one of youth saying that she was in sick and in the hospital. So, we prayed from the bible study for her, then they began collecting money from everyone to give a donation to help with the hospital and other fees. Then they decided to fit as many people as possible into my car so we could go deliver the money and pray for her in person. I think I had at least 14 in my Rav4 and there were 4 on the motorcycle that one of our youth drives. So we reached the place, all packed into the room, which had maybe 4 or 5 beds in it, but only one patient at the time, and we woke up our patient, took turns giving her words of encouragement, worshipped our Lord and then cried out to Him to heal our friend and sister.  After that we all packed back in the car and headed for our homes, dropping youth along the way as I headed back toward town.
Sometimes I can really wonder, that even in the poverty and suffering that is here how privileged i am to minister among such people. It seems like so much of the time I'm the one being encouraged by them. The faith that they have as they turn to our Father in prayer for each and every thing puts me to shame. It is something that I missed while I was in America.
We have drought in the midwest but how many times have we humbled ourselves and prayed? Is it just global warming, or could it be something else????  I was just struck by this verse in 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 "If I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or if I command the locust to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among My people, and My People who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

Perspective-again

This morning I was feeling stressed about all the people I still wanted to meet with in the little time that I have left in the states. Then all of the sudden God reminded me that, indeed that was pretty lame. He brought to mind what I had been reading in the news last night. A rebel group called M23 in DR Congo, has recently taken over a couple of towns. The head guy has a nick-name called Terminator. This group is known for abducting children and forcing them to be soldiers and also using sexual violence as a means of control. Therefore, here I am worried about having too many people that love me and want to see me, while at the same time there is most likely holed up in some one room house some mother with her children praying to God that the rebels won't find them and steal her children and rape her. Now who should really be stressed in this comparison??  Oh Lord, forgive me for my selfish poor seeing heart. Lord, I pray for the women and children in Congo, in these towns, let the light of your face shine upon them. Be their protector. Let them see the way you are gathering them and hiding them under your wings. Bring peace. Drive out the evil with Your light and Your goodness. Give hope. Let them feel Your presence among them.

Here are a couple of the articles to become more informed:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-18762918

http://www.monitor.co.ug/News/National/Who+are+the+M23+rebels+in+DR+Congo+/-/688334/1448808/-/vld8aiz/-/index.html

thank you for brokenness

alright, here goes nothing. I am in Oregon now enjoying time with friends and family. But something is happening that is a bit strange. I keep running into my old stuff and it reminds me. I don't think I've written about this before and not many ask me about it, perhaps for fear of forcing me to be too vulnerable, but I think it's time to share where I'm at these days. Back in 2007 I was engaged to be married to a great man, in oregon. At that time I felt God confirming, that yes, this was the man, this was the time, everything. Then about a month before the wedding, we had to call it off. My fiance, was having second thoughts and didn't want to go through with it. I cried out to God, wondering how I could feel so strongly that this is what He called me to, and yet now He was letting it all fall apart. Didn't He care? Didn't He see I was being obedient and He was taking my heart and smashing it to pieces, rather than blessing me for my obedience? What was going on? I had to keep going back to Him asking Him so many things, and He had no answers, but He kept comforting my heart saying, trust Me. I'm not going to lie, it was difficult to try to trust Him after that, but by His grace and His mercy I slowly began trusting Him again.
The story is much longer (on our drive back home to michigan my sister and I totaled the car when we blew a tire and spun across the highway 7 miles shy of nevada, still so many miles from michigan) but I don't want to drag this out. As I remember all of this, I remember the way my Loving Father provided for me as I came home, calling me to come out of this wilderness leaning on Him alone. He provided for me a good job and when others were being let go, I was getting raises. If you've read my blog before, you'll know that somehow, by the grace of God I ended up in Uganda, serving alongside my Savior, pouring into broken hearts the Healing Water that only He can bring. And when I see here in Oregon what was my shower curtain, or my cups, my lamps (I could only fit so many things into my little honda, so I left non-necessities with friends) I wonder, where I would be if I did get married and where I am now instead. I realize I wouldn't be where I am and I love where I am. So I've come to this place where I can honestly say "Thank you, Loving Father, for caring for me so intimately, for loving me so well, for suffering with me, for rejoicing with me, thanks for allowing my heart to become softer and not bitter, and giving great friends to walk alongside me. Thank you for a broken engagement and a broken heart that has driven me deeper into you, that has caused me to know you in a way I've never known you before, that has caused me to feel love like I've never felt before. Surely you can redeem and restore the darkest of moments. Surely you cannot do one unfaithful thing. Surely you cry with your children and draw them nearer still. Thank you, thank you Dad."

Beauty

I've been struck by the beauty of the people. Over my two years in Uganda, God has developed in my heart an eye for the beauty of the people that I interact with day to day. It seems that as I adjust back to the states (and canada) I'm realizing that God has opened my eyes to the beauty of people everywhere, not just Ugandans. It was today when it really struck me that He's been doing this in my heart and I've been largely unaware.  It was a simple trip to pick up a used dryer belt from a mechanic. Just another errand, and yet somehow God spoke to my heart and showed me something He'd been working on for a while. When we arrived at the man's house, he came out of his house to greet us, stocking feet and with him the smell of cigarette smoke came out with him, the kind that made me want to go bowling (I hope someone can understand that reference). His dog was not super nice, but the guy seemed to be and after grabbing his shoes he walked with us out to his garage. Not sure whether or not to follow him into the garage we kinda just hung outside for a while, but after curiosity got the best of me I decided to peek in and then go and observe the kind man searching diligently for just the right dryer belt. And as I took it all in, I couldn't help but smile as joy filled my heart. A table full of spray cans, shelves full of wires of every size and color, old stripped down appliances, and any other thing that might potentially come in handy to repair any appliance ever created. It was beautiful. The man, you could say he wasn't particular handsome, one eye was missing or something was visibly wrong with it anyway, there was nothing which would particularly attract us to him in his outer appearance...but...there was Beauty. There was a way in which he was revealing something to us about our Father. For every man, woman and child has been created in His image. What does that mean? I don't know really. But what I do know is that this man potentially unbeknownst to him was revealing something of God to me. And I am thankful. And I'm trying to express in words what it was that he revealed to me about our Father, but it's hard. Maybe it was the care he took in searching out just the right belt, inspecting each belt closely, bent over each one with his good eye closely interrogating each one. The kind of care I imagine our Heavenly Father must take with each of us. Knowing every inch of us, better than we know ourselves, knowing how we would respond in each circumstance and in every situation. Knowing where we are wearing thin, where we might just break any time.  Or maybe its the way He's ready to repair any heart. He has everything that we need if we just come to Him, but we have to come. It's all there, everything we need to mend our broken hearts in the Father's presence, but we have to go there, we have to trust Him to give us just what we need to mend our hearts. Or maybe...just maybe...He wants to reveal himself to you, and it might just be through someone you least expect.


He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
³ He was despised and rejected by men,
    a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
    he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
-Isaiah 53:2b-3

culture shock1 - shopping

I think culture shock it starting to hit...only three weeks after being in America..so i'm a little slow...and that seems to be one of the biggest things that's shocking. I was always slow, but either i'm slower or people are faster. I think I would have spent three hours, easily, today grocery shopping in meijer's if it wasn't for my friend to come and help speed things along. It's not that there were that many things on my list, but it's the store's just so big. And it's not like there is just "cheese" but there's colby-jack, colby, monterrey-jack, cheddar, sharp cheddar, mozzarella, and on and on, and then you can decide, yes, mozzarella is what i want and then there's a chunk of cheese or shredded, or finely shredded, or shredded with a little philadelphia cream cheese to add creaminess...then there's kraft or meijer or whatever other brands...wow...so yeah, and that's just the cheese, don't get me started on the breads...we have so many choices. And i guess i'm just not used to that and it makes me a little slow.  And then the store is so big, and i walk slow, even if i looked at nothing and just walked up and down the aisles at a "comfortable" pace it would take something like one hour...yeah. There are other things, but right now i just needed to get that off my chest. I wish I could come up with some great spiritual life application about this, but, I can't, i think my mind is still too over loaded with so many choices and information...let's wait a few days and see if i can think of anything.