selflessness

I guess I had an idea of what it involved, but living it out, day by day, moment by moment is quite another story. Today God revealed a little more about what selflessness means and how it's lived out. My grandma is dying. She has just begun comfort care, aka hospice. She has nearly died probably 3 or 4 times it seems like in the last year. I had a chance to talk to her today, and I asked her what she was thinking about, she gathered her words and through cracked lips and hoarse voice said, "i'm ready to die, but I don't want to put Grandpa through that." Wow. I asked her if she was scared at all, she said, "a little bit" but quickly added that she wasn't really because she would be going to heaven. she had hope, she was ready to die. It seems like every breath is hard, yet she's holding on for the sake of her husband, to her dying day she's going to be looking out for his best interest, she's going to throw aside her pain, her comfort to hold on for one more day, for the love of her husband. Thank you Grandma for teaching me about selflessness. Jesus would you teach us this?

too cool not to skip

I went for a walk this evening, it felt good after sitting around all day. As i made my way around the neighborhood, i felt light on my feet and i caught myself wanting to skip. a quick look around, well i don't think anyone is watching, a quick little half skip that would be put to shame by any kid in 1st grade. I thought to myself, are you ashamed to skip? what's wrong with skipping, what's wrong with skipping and singing and enjoying your God, the creation and the day? nothing. so why are you so half hazardly throwing a pathetic little hop in your step. I got a little bolder, a couple skips in a row, alright, i'm doing good now, oh no, I hear a car coming, better pretend like i'm just walking plainly down the street, la-de-da-de-dah, ok they're past, a couple more skips, wow this is kinda, really fun. Finally i hear another car, i hesitate, but continue bursting forth in the air with unexpected freedom. and for good measure i even throw a little wizard of oz, yellow path step or two in. awesome. oh there's someone, normal, walk normal, no you can skip, skip away.
Why is it so hard to skip as a 25 year old? Skipping shouldn't be this hard. If my soul is bursting with joy, why not let my body show it? Have we allowed our culture to force us to downplay excitement and joy? Why not walk around with a big smile on your face? What's so wrong with that? Why not skip down the street? Why not wave at unsuspecting passerbyers or cheer on the neighbor kids basketball game. Let outbursts of joy penetrate into our culture, rather than letting the culture shape us, let's start shaping the culture. Don't be afraid to show emotion, to show pure joy, give a little shout out, whistle, skip, run, jump, hum or sing as you walk, draw a pretty picture, or give some one a big smile, laugh heartily. Live life abundant. Enjoy life, God's not some mean old boss who wants always to rain on our parade, in reality, He's probably the drum major, or on the trumpet, or oh yeah, maybe throwing candy...whatever, He wants us to enjoy life, to delight our selves in Him and He will give us the desires of our hearts. Are you enjoying life, or just going through the motions? Are you enjoying God or just trying to stay off His "bad side"? From now on I'm too cool not to skip...

as children

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 john 3:1
I feel so blessed to be able to watch my niece Annabella grow up. She's only 6 months old, yet we all say, 'oh, she's so big.' This morning i was observing my sister Jamie give her bath, she loves the water so it's fun to watch her play in it. While Jamie was scrubbing her she sat her up to get her back and for the first time Annabella stayed sitting up with no assistance, just a splashing in the water. In that same bath time she also stuck her toe into her mouth, another first, and quite impressive if I must say so myself. I did not know that these were firsts for hers, but you better believe my sister did and proud of her too. She marvels at her growth (and flexibility!) Just like our Father notices all the little growing that we do. He knows that extra little step of obedience that we took, that any old outsider, or even close relative (or even yourself) might not have noticed. He noticed how we went just slightly out of our way to help somebody out, or share His love with someone. It's easy to get discouraged when we don't get noticed, or feel like we're not going anywhere, but just like a loving parent notices their child's every little growth so too does the Father, and He is proud. He calls you child because He knows you like a loving father and mother know their own children. He recognises when you are deliberately disobedient, but He also recognises when you joyfully obey. Will you let the Father lavish His love on you? It's a lot harder than it seems. But if you let Him lavish you with His love, it will change your life and you will find you can't resist but to love Him back and to love the one in front of you. He takes great delight in you, He quiets you with His love and rejoices over you with singing! (zephaniah 3:17)

it's cold out there

I did not want to get out of bed this morning because I was so warm and the house was so cold, eventually though I got up. It's still dark when I leave for work at about 5:30am and it felt so cold this morning I think it was 12F maybe. I started driving and kept waiting for my car to warm up, finally it did, just a couple miles down the road. As I was nearing the highway entrance I came across a woman pushing an overfilled shopping cart down the road. And it hit me. Wow, what a life. To think I thought the cold house was cold, (probably some where around 65F) and complained to no one that my car needed to get warmer faster. And here this woman probably slept out under the nearby bridge, in 12F weather, but probably couldn't sleep cuz of the coldness and started wandering to keep warm. I offered up a prayer on her behalf, but I didn't do anything else. I was going to be late for work if I stopped and offered to take her to the closest coffee shop that was open and let her warm up some and listen to her story. But I don't think that's a good enough excuse. I think Jesus would have stopped what He was doing to be with the one, to let her pour out her heart to Him, and He in turn would pour out His heart for her. I challenge you and I challenge myself to reach out to whoever crosses our paths and be the hands, feet, ears, eyes, mind, and heart of Jesus. Your paths may never cross again.

in a day

It's amazing how much you can learn in a single day. If I don't write it down I'm going to forget it all, and then is that really learning? This blogging will be my effort, guided by the Holy Spirit to share what God whispers to me in the secret, or shouts into my stubborn ears. He is too good to keep to myself and as He shows parts of Himself to me, it is my obligation to pass it on. I must embrace the love that He has shown me and try not to get in the way of Him showing His love through me. this is one such attempt.
Learned today:
Every single person I come into contact with I must view them and treat them as made in the image of God. I must look for what it is beautiful about them, what part of the Father is coming through them whether they know it or not, or like it or not. Lord, teach me this graciousness.